Good For A Laugh At Least. . .

It's been a little while since I've posted an entry on here and in writing to a friend thought I might recount a fairly recent experience I had. I don't often speak publicly, or even privately for that matter, about my dating life and experiences I have had. Perhaps this experience will explain why, but then again maybe it will just serve as a good laugh for those who read it.

Background:

Over the past few years, I have been attending events (dances, parties, gatherings of various sorts) put on by and for a fairly large group of single adults in the Denver and Northern Colorado area. Most people that thing of events for "single adults" probably will think "a place to meet people to date" should there be people there of an even remotely attractive nature. (Speaking generically of course.) While this is one of the purposes of said events, sometimes I find myself going to these activities not in the hope of "finding someone", but rather just because it is something to do rather than sitting at home alone on a Friday night or other awkward occasion.

This group of single adults is split up into two categories, primarily by age. In the LDS (aka "Mormon") culture, there are two larger groups of single adults. First, the "Young Single Adults" are those between the ages of 18 and 30 years old. The older single adults, most commonly known just as the "Single Adults" are those ages 30 and older and literally can include any single adults as old as 80-90 years old if there were any interested at those ages. For purposes of this story, we reference the "Single Adults", which can also be categorically divided into two groups, not so much as separate groups, but rather one being a sub-category of the other, at least partly so. Where the Single Adults refers to those in the ages of 30 and older, there is a great variation in the life experiences of everyone involved. This has led to a smaller group to be organized at least on an unofficial but recognized level. Some of us in the younger end of the spectrum are a little bit, shall we say, uncomfortable sometimes being around some of those that are well old(er). A sub-category of the Single Adults has been created and is known amongst ourselves at least as the "Middle Singles", ranging in age from 30ish to age 45, and adhering nearly exclusively to these ages. The primary reason for this distinction, at least from where I see it, is because of the differences between someone that is 30-40 years old compared to someone that is 70. Besides the obvious differences in hair color, the younger ones are obviously at a different stage in life than those in the older age range, and yes I think we can even say the "old" ones because comparatively they are.

I will not begin to attempt to explain all that goes on with the Single Adults, except that we get together on many occasions to have dances, firesides (for those unfamiliar with the term "fireside", just think large group discussion sort of), barbecues, game nights, and, well, pretty much any American thing that most anyone enjoys doing.

Even though I consider myself a pretty wretched dancer, I do enjoy dancing quite a lot so when the opportunity presents itself, I take the opportunity to "get my groove on". (Please save yourself and don't attempt to visualize that, just trust me.)

Each year there is generally a New Years Eve dance to celebrating the outgoing and incoming years. Dec 31, 2009 through Jan 1, 2010 was no exception. Not wanting to spend the night home alone, I went to the dance down in Denver, although to be quite honest I really did not feel all that much like dancing that night. I just didn't want to be at home alone.

The New Years Eve dance was scheduled to start around 8:30-9:00pm and go until sometime after we rang in the new year (usually going until 12:30-1:00am more or less). I left home to go to the dance and arrived around 9:15. As there usually are, there were probably 75-100 people there when I arrived. Having been to a few of these dances, I was not going to be terribly surprised to show up and see only a handful of people actually dancing there. In this case, it was far worse than normal, however, as I showed up and found that literally there were only what seemed like 5-10 people dancing.

This particular night I was really not very interested in dancing so much as just getting out of the house. (Quite often I go and do feel like dancing, but eventually warm up to it when the right style of music starts to play.) I went in and stood off to the side for a few minutes, probably mostly waiting to see if anyone would come that I already knew. This sometimes helps with the motivation to dance, particularly if it's someone of the nice-looking variety.

Here is where the story, and purpose of this blog entry, comes into play.

After standing off to the side for a few minutes (probably 10-15 minutes), a woman approached me who I have to admit must be at least 60 years old (no exaggeration). She immediately says to me, "You know I could give you a ticket for standing there like that and not dancing." Oh please, like that's gonna get me out there dancing when I really don't feel like it. I respond, "yeah, well good luck trying to enforce it." What I SHOULD have done was walk out at that moment and go somewhere else, but being the polite person that I am (and perhaps should not be so much) I decided to humor her a little bit. She convinced me to dance with her once, then while dancing asked me, "Will you dance with me one more time tonight?" or at least something VERY close to that effect. (I'm trying to forget this as best I can and you will see why in the end.)

Somehow that first song turned into 2-3 songs, was not particularly enjoyable on my part, but I tolerated it as best I could. Finally I got away and was able to find a group of younger people quite a bit closer to my age than the aforementioned woman (who I will also advise was NOT the most attractive person in the place, but I will leave it at that lest I come across as being more spiteful than how most know me).

I was able to evade said person for a good couple of hours, but alas eventually she found me and trapped me into another song. Ugh!!! Does she not realize how uncomfortable she's making me feel? I knew she was not just another person trying to be nice when she started trying to introduce me to her other old friends. (I normally would not refer to someone as being old when they are 60 years old, but I do so here to emphasize intentionally that compared to me, old she definitely was.) It started with "Oh, have you met so and so? Let me introduce you to her." Then, she dragged me over to introduce me to one of her friends, who was just as old as she was, if not more so. Worse than this, her friend than tried getting me to dance with her. Okay, enough of this, I've got to get out of here fast. As soon as her friend asked, "Well, do you want to dance with me?" I knew I had to come up with something.

Now, I am not one to TRY and get out of uncomfortable situations very often, I can usually tolerate just about anything, but this was one time when I really was UNcomfortable, and even down-right scared, being around them. Once the question was asked, I plainly stated, "Actually, I was just going to go out and use the restroom." Any women reading this, don't pretend like you have never had to do this with any guys. I know there has to be someone that has done the same thing, if even to me personally. That was my chance to get out of there. I walked out and intentionally walked around the building to come in another way so as to get away from them. The rest of the evening was spent doing all I could to avoid them. Terrible I know, but it just goes to show just how scary they were.

By the time I came back in, I was able to make it back to the same group of younger people that I had previously attempted to mingle with a little bit. I stood as near as I could to any 3-5 of them as I could, hoping it would discourage any of those older women to try anything again. Luckily, one person, who I shall here call "Tami", came to my rescue and asked me to dance when a slow song started. I promptly thanked her for coming to my rescue and, without mentioning any names to her, very briefly told her of my then very recent plight. It was nice to dance with Tami and talk casually, not just for her having rescued me but because she was just nice to talk to.

Now, for anyone that might be thinking, "Ooh, Ben, this Tami person seems nice. is there something going on there?" Stop that thought there. I will simply say that I go to dances to dance, not to "meet someone". Just have to add that. There are some stories I won't tell, even here with names disguised.

So that was the awkward experience. I can now say that I understand, at least on some level, the anguish some of my sisters had to go through going to some of these same "Single Adult" activities, before they were fortunate and blessed to find their soul mates and get married. I actually knew of one of those old men that used to try "hitting on" one of my sisters, and I did my best whenever possible to save her from that but couldn't always do it. Now, hopefully I don't have to endure that experience any more, because I don't know how I will react if I do. I just about shudder at the thought of it.